The other day I was walking past a local toy store packed full of creative gifts for kids. I was on my way to the bread shop but almost veered off course to buy ‘a little something’ to add to my kids’ stockings to show them how much I love them. But after a moment, I had a change of heart, remembering all the stuff already planned for their stockings and our Christmas season.
And then I began to wonder how gift-giving in the form of buying things became so tied to showing our love for someone? Have we been culturally conditioned to think this way?
Some of us are natural gift-givers, and that might even be our preferred method to show love. But in this current holiday culture, it seems to be the default mindset. What if instead we shifted to a mindset of giving ourselves?
I’m not suggesting we spread ourselves thin, overextending our energy and effort in the name of the holidays. But maybe instead of buying and gifting more things that our loved ones might not want or need, we gave something more precious – our time?
If you’re in the market for some ideas on how to gift your time to close friends and family members this holiday season, I’ve brainstormed a bit to get you started. Note: these don’t necessarily translate to not spending money, some require a monetary investment and some don’t. But the overall idea behind these suggestions is a focus on experiences over things.
5 Ways to Gift Your Time
1. Plan a ‘books and coffee’ date.
This is perfect for bookworms and their fellow bookworms. You could invite a friend or family member to read a novel with you, sort of a mini book club. Then you could get together and discuss what you’re reading in a cozy coffee shop. Or, if you’re next-level close with each other, you can read jointly in comfortable silence over steaming lattes.
2. Write up a homemade coupon for a Christmas lights walk. (Or a scenic or trail hike if that’s more your thing.)
There is something magical about wintry walks. I can remember taking one at night with my BFF in college. We were decked out in our wool coats, knit beanies and gloves. The mix of warm layers on our bodies and cold air on our faces felt unexpectedly good. Add in a tour of a festively-lit neighborhood and it becomes even more memorable. I love going for walks because they are usually a ripe opportunity for conversation.
If your schedule is too tight to add a December outing, plan for a hike or walk in January to kick the year off with your loved one.
3. Take a pottery/ceramics class together.
This idea takes the cake, in my opinion. I regularly see my Instagram friends doing cool stuff like this, or making ornaments, wreaths, floral arrangements, the possibilities for crafting these days seems endless! I suggest a pottery class because getting your hands ‘dirty’ with clay can feel therapeutic!
4. Volunteer together. Serve at an animal shelter, spend time at an elderly care center, remember people experiencing homelessness.
Showing love to people around us is a critical part of the human connection. What better way to do it than with a loved one.
You could arrange for you and your friend or family member (assuming you know them well) to love and serve people in your local community together. Perhaps an animal shelter needs some extra hands. Or residents at the local elderly care home need fresh faces to play cards or work on puzzles with. Another idea: buy a big box of granola bars and thick, warm socks, bundle them together in sets, and hand them out to local homeless communities.
December is often a time people look for ways to ‘give back,’ but I’d humbly suggest we should always be looking for ways to do this.
5. Write up a coupon for a ‘take you out to lunch date’ and do it.
A lunch date feels like the original way to gift your time, but that’s for good reason. Block out an hour (or more) and enjoy a long conversation over a delicious meal. That is one of my favorite ways to spend time with someone!
After spending the past week watching the constant influx of toys thanks to my husband and family, I am well and truly over the “showing love by giving stuff” thing. My kids have so many toys I’ve started spreading them over to the neighbours for when we visit them! Next year I think we’ll try for one thing under the tree each and something like vouchers for time spent with grandparents and other family.