Sometimes I wonder if my kids think I’m a complete narcissist by constantly posting pictures on the internet. Even if they don’t know what a blog is, or the internet really. But they are always observing. My four-year-old always watches when I take my outfit photos, and my little guy (who is almost two) regularly points at the computer screen and cries, “mama!”
Last year, after starting my blog and noticing my daughter’s watchful eyes, I wrote about the strategies we employ to raise girls who have a healthy self-esteem. Lately I’ve been re-visiting some of this advice for myself, particularly the part about looking inward and not outward to see beauty.
I recently turned 33 and, far more often than I care to admit, I don’t like what I see in the mirror. I see wrinkles, saggy bits and skin not as taut as it once was. Yes, I’m “only” 33 and it will definitely “change” more over time, but that’s beside the point I’m trying make right now. Every time I see my imperfections I have a choice: I can frown and fret about them or I can choose to remember that people love me for me not for how I look.
The thought dawned on me so clearly the other day when I was thinking about a friend I’ve gotten to know in recent months. I realized the ‘standards’ I held for her physically were nowhere near as astronomically high as the ones I was holding for myself. You see, this is the problem we perfectionists face. When it comes to ourselves, we can’t just stop at decent, or good enough; too often we take things too far. Like the way I want to demand my appearance be perfect. The drive to do that is so innate in me I almost don’t realize I am doing it.
That’s when I come in with a little self-talk and reminder that people love me for who I am, not what I look like.
Refreshing, isn’t it?
And here I am, in all my imperfect glory ;) sharing a little easy, outfit on the go. This lovely merino cardigan from a store I no longer shop at, but I would high recommend this one or this one. I know first-hand that Everlane’s cashmere is amazing (seen here). My black tee is from Everlane’s new Pima collection, and it is incredibly soft. Jeans are vintage (try these) and so is my purse, but I really like this ethically made one. My shoes are old Vans, but try these. Necklace is a gift from the talented and lovely Lauren Greenwalt of Loop Jewelry (last seen here).
Cheers,
andrea
This is a great post, Andrea. It’s so interesting how hard we are on ourselves and yet how forgiving we can be of those same flaws in others, especially physically. You know I’ve been struggling with my postpartum shape recently, yet every now and then I remind myself, “hey, I’m not looking so bad for a 37 year old mother of 4!” I need to have that self talk a little more often. Thanks for being so open!
Thanks for responding my dear friend! It is a little nerve-wracking to put myself out there like this, but it was just honestly what was on my heart. I am glad you can relate!
And you’re a babe! ;)