4 TIPS TO CULTIVATE YOUR INNER STYLE VOICE

I have a borderline obsession with personal style. And staying home for months on end has given me a better understanding of the WHO and the WHY behind my own personal style. Without the interaction of people face-to-face I’ve settled into a space of dressing solely for myself (and my internet audience too!, but that is not weighty for me). That has left me with a new understanding of what I like to wear and how it makes me feel (my ‘who’ and ‘why’).

But first: What is the definition of style?

In my mind, ‘style’ is quite different than ‘fashion’ but the two certainly intermix and overlap.

To me, style is the essence of how someone puts themself together each day. It’s all the small details that add up to their overall look. (The way they choose to wear their hair, their clothes (fitted, loose, etc.), which earrings they wear, which bag they grab, etc.) For some people style is very organic, and for others it is cultivated (me!).

The way I see it, fashion refers to clothing trends, items, a specific look, an intentional campaign, making a statement. A deliberate choice.

I deeply appreciate fashion, but marvel at style because it is something that’s lived out every day, even when no one is looking, while fashion feels more like an event or an occasion.

SO, what exactly sets stylish types apart? And how do we hone our inner style voice and coach it until it’s louder, more authentic and living its best life?

I’ve spent years thinking about this stuff, and here are a few things I’ve observed.

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4 TIPS TO CULTIVATE YOUR INNER STYLE VOICE

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1 – Own and wear items for the long haul. This leads to developed, consistent style.

A few months ago I was watching a Taylor Swift documentary and of course I was taking close note of what she was wearing. In one particular interview I noticed she was wearing a fab pair of lace-up boots. I was sure they were the Dawn Boot, but after Careful Internet Research I found out they were a several-seasons-old pair of Frye boots that Swift has been wearing for years (seen here, here and here). This made me think a lot about the importance of choosing well, and choosing what you picked over and over again. In other words, buy what you love and then wear it to death. The more you wear it, the more it takes on character, shape and personality (like Swift’s boots did), and the more the item becomes intertwined with your personal style. Ideally, the item would become better with time. Swift’s boots look amazing, however, if I went out and bought the same ones today (I can’t because they’re not for sale, trust me I checked), they still wouldn’t even be the same, because they don’t have the same patina and personality behind them.

So how does this translate to all of our closets? Think of that woolen sweater, leather jacket, trusty Levi’s, beloved chambray, whatever it is, and WEAR it. In fact, wear it five days in a row and see how creative you get. (I used to do this when buying new items so I could ‘get acquainted’ with styling it.) Lean into what you love, wear and re-wear, and watch your style grow.

Things I love in my closet that I’m leaning into right now: faded jeans, jeans with holes and gold hoop earrings.

2 – Listen to your gut when adding items to your closet.

Sometimes you don’t need to know the ‘why’ before you buy. You just need to follow that inner voice that says, “I LOVE this.” That little, itty, bitty whisper is the sprout of your personal style. I firmly believe if you pay attention to it and listen to it, that voice will grow louder and clearer. Some of you are already there, and I admire that so much about you. I am further along than I used to be, but about 6.5 years ago I could barely find or hear that voice of mine.

Be careful not to let your instincts get confused with your ‘shoulds’… aka, “I should have a pair of white jeans in my closet,” or “I should buy a cardigan because it’s more versatile” or “I should get the gray sweater because it will go with everything.” Alas, I do think “shoulds” should be considered (pun intended), but tread lightly because they are more likely to lead you in the direction of ‘safe’ than ‘style.’

Too often I am afraid of having items that stand out because I just want to be able to wear stuff over and over, so I think it ‘should’ be neutral, or a color others won’t notice. However, owning and wearing signature (aka: interesting, colorful, bold, printed, whatever) pieces over and over again are part of what identifies and sets our unique styles apart.

Picture a stylish person you admire from your real life, can you think of what their signature item(s) might be? Do you think they look bad for repeating those items? Of course not.

Bottom line: avoid the ‘shoulds’ because it’s often an indication you’re trying to talk yourself into an item you didn’t necessarily gravitate toward in the first place.

3 – Don’t shop at one store, or in one price point (thrift!).

The quickest way to make your style go stale is to shop at only one store. Unless you’re very talented and good at styling. But for the bulk of us, or at least the ones who are clicking on an article called ‘style secrets,’ this applies to us.

I have a tendency to go ‘more is more’ when I come across an item or brand I love. If ‘some’ is good, ‘lots’ is good, right?! Wrong. Too many items from one brand or designer in your closet can often start to put your style into a singular, less-faceted variety. It might feel less dynamic, a little boring, or redundant even. Almost as if you were making a soup, but the ingredients were all too similar, not enough texture, variety and flavor. Of course, like every rule of fashion, it is meant to be broken. But again, the stylistas among us are probably better at it.

So what’s the best way to mix it up? Thrift and consign! It exposes you to a great cross-section of items from a variety of price points. Unfortunately. thrifting is a bit hard these days because of COVID restrictions, so I haven’t been in ages. But one rule I always have for myself is to be okay with walking away empty handed. Thrifting well is a game of odds, and they usually aren’t in your favor. If you learn to be okay with that, you will avoid purchasing for the sake of purchasing (aka adding waste to your wardrobe). During non-Covid times I’d advising visiting your favorite thrifting haunts quite regularly to increase your odds. An alternative to in-person thrifting: Etsy. I have had some great luck over the years thrifting on the platform. Pay close attention to description details and have a tape measure handy! If you want to go high-end The Real Real is a great place to look too.

4 – Prioritize your color palette, and learn how to mix it.

This is probably the hardest tip on the list because it requires some intention. But it’s so WORTH IT, and once you get a grasp on it, decision-making around clothes (and shopping) gets a lot easier.

A few years back I took a master class on color and spent some time trying to understand how my skin, eye and hair color came together and interacted with the colors I wear. This left me with some big takeaways about why certain colors I kept trying to wear (heathered gray!) never made me feel good when I wore them. It gave me the why behind certain colors working for me while others did not. For example, I realized that my coloring is low contrast, my hair is medium dark, my skin is medium and my eyes are medium-light. This means deeply saturated colors ‘take over’ my natural features when I wear them, instead of working with them. This helped me to better understand why some colors, even though I loved them, never looked or felt right on me. I still wear and love color, but I steer clear of bold, saturated tones, and aim for for less saturated, or muted ones. You can read more of my color reflections in this post.

I feel like I could go on and on. Not with knowledge, but instead musings and thoughts on personal style. I hope this post was helpful for you. And if you have some insights to share, drop them in the comments.

Thanks for reading!

xx

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All images via Pinterest. See them here.