Last month I reignited a smartphone habit I had been neglecting in recent months: to take Sunday off from using my phone for anything besides calls and texting. Or as we like to call it around our house, “Smartphone Sabbath.”
It’s an effort to disconnect from that feeling of ‘needing to check’ everything on the internet… from email, to social media, to news, to that random fact I can’t remember. And to sever the need to have my cell phone always within arms’ reach. It’s an honest effort to be on my phone less.
WHAT WAS GOOD:
It broke the cycle.
I really liked how it broke the default pattern of reaching for my phone anytime I had down time, in the car, around the house, before bed, etc. It broke the cycle of ‘checking, checking, checking’ for the day because it simply wasn’t an option. I found that when Monday came I was a little more mindful about reaching for my phone because of what I had experienced they day prior.
It created more time for idle chit-chat with my husband.
This seems like an obvious potential result, but I was pleasantly surprised by it. All those times I normally pick up my phone, as mentioned above, I instead found space for conversation with my husband. I call it ‘idle chit-chat’ but it’s more than that. It’s different than all the transactional conversations that happen throughout the day, “Did so-and-so take his medicine?” “What time do you have to be at your meeting?” “Is it trash night?” “The dogs need to go out…” Instead the conversations consist of various thoughts that float to the top of mind, a recalled conversation with a co-worker, or a thought we had about the day’s news, an idea about a future family outing, or a musing about something we read on the internet, and so on. They are seemingly insignificant conversations, but they carry with them a chance to truly connect beyond the transactional business of running a household of five.
It allowed us to live curiously.
Taking a smartphone sabbath allowed us (I say us because my husband participated too) to live in our curiosity about random factoids we would usually consult google for. There was something restful about allowing a query to roll around my mind and ponder it, instead of instantly being sated by a smartphone search engine. If the need was dire, I could pull out my laptop, or come back to it the next day. Usually it wasn’t.
It helped me tune into the present.
I am pretty disciplined about not using my phone in social situations, but the self-control ends there. Around family it’s way too easy to give in to the temptation. Abstaining for just one day a week was a really good reminder of how much I miss and disengage from the present when I pull out my phone and engage with that instead. There are tradeoffs for most things in life and it’s good to be aware of what I’m giving up when I reach for my phone.
WHAT WAS HARD:
Retaining the reflex.
You know, that little part of our brain that screams, “check!” all the time. It’s a hard habit to kick. There were several times I picked up my phone and unlocked it and opened an app, before I even realized what I was doing.
Diminished reachability.
I noticed if my husband or I were away from home and trying to reach the other person, it was harder to get through because phones weren’t nearby. There was one night I was trying to call home, but couldn’t reach anyone because the phone was in the other room. Kind of makes me want a landline.
Keeping on track.
It was really easy to make allowances for ‘one thing’ and then the whole day would go to the wayside, and I’d be back to my usual habits. Full disclosure: this is exactly what happened to me last Sunday.
WHAT’S NEXT:
Moving forward I plan to continue my smartphone sabbath. I love how it made me feel free. I could move from room to room around the house without bringing my phone along, and I found myself less emotionally tethered to it since so many of the tempting features were temporarily off the table. If felt great to start the week feeling less attached to my phone.
To avoid the temptation to look at my phone before bed or first thing in the morning (as I did for a lonnng time), I started leaving my phone on the charger in the kitchen at night. It affords for more time to read, pillow talk with the hubs, and reflection. I also delete both Facebook and Instagram off my phone during the Lent season to take a break from social media each year for a period of time. It definitely helps reset those urges. Thanks for sharing your ideas. It’s kinda sad, really, that our PHONES have become such a big part of our lives. These electronic little things that 15 years ago barely existed.
It is mindblowing, isn’t it? And indeed sad. At least we have the ability to remember life before phones. It’s a luxury our kids will never have. I love your tips and ideas, those are excellent!!
I avoid looking at my phone in the morning, giving myself a good hour or so of phone-free time in the present moment. I’ve turned off notifications for most apps, so that I’m only getting feel-good apps or text messages. I also recognized that a lot of the times I was checking my phone, it was only to check the time but I would inevitably end up down a rabbit hole once I noticed any notifications… so I bought a clock and placed it in a central location! It has noticeably cut down the time I spend looking at my phone, though it’s still a habit to check it some days.
SO, so good!! I turned off my notifications awhile back, and I couldn’t imagine it any other way. It makes the phone feel more like it is on *my* terms. So smart about the clock! That is a big reason why I wear a watch. I think checking our phones will always be a habit, but anything we can do to minimize it will help us out in the long run.