[ boots: Frye | chambray top: Hanna Andersson | play skirt: Wildly.Co | vest: Mini Boden via thrift shop ]
Many of you have asked me how I approach shopping ethically with my kiddos, and I decided it’s finally time for a blog post. Let me preface it by saying I have plenty of room for growth in this area and I am not 100% perfect. While I have found fast success to sourcing my own clothing ethically, it has been a much slower process doing the same for my kids. In other words, I still occasionally buy things at Target.
We are a family of five, primarily living off one salary in a big city. This doesn’t leave a lot of wiggle room for expensive clothing for my cuties, but over the past few years I’ve come up with some strategies that seem to be working for us. My kids are 7, 5, and almost 3, that’s June, Olive and David respectively. They are a busy, delightful crew (most of the time). Here is what has worked for us:
1) Adjust your expectations. No mini-models here.
After having three kids, I’ve let go of a lot of my pre-conceived ideas about how stylish they should be on any given day. With one child, it was easy to hand-pick her outfits to my satisfaction. With three, I am lucky if they have matching socks. Plain and simple, we are outnumbered and I just don’t have time to be exhaustive when styling them. To help with this, I try to be picky with what I buy. If I like most of their clothes, it’s a lot easier for them to get dressed and look semi mom-approved.
2) Fewer, better mentality.
This is probably the biggest change I’ve made regarding my children and clothing. I used to be all about the most inexpensive option for them – after all, they’ll just grow out of it, right? I thought they needed endless options in their drawers, and I found myself shopping at places like Old Navy and Target for clothing that never, ever lasted. After my own personal wardrobe shift, I realized the ‘fewer, better’ mentality worked well for their wardrobes as well. Instead of buying endless clothing that never held up (hello holes in the knees of leggings and shirts coming apart at the shoulder hem) I decided to take the same amount of money I was spending on the cheap stuff and apply it to fewer items of the nice stuff, and do laundry a little more often.
Example: Instead of buying several cheap leggings from Target for $5 a piece, I save up and get two pairs of Hanna’s which are thicker and last longer (and are also made in Peru). I don’t know about the ethics of Hanna Andersson’s labor practices, but by purchasing them instead of fast-fashion for my kids, I can take some peace of mind in contributing to a company that strives to build long-lasting products instead of disposable ones.
Example #2: Last fall I was fortunate enough to snag two pairs of Frye Kids Engineer boots when Nordstrom marked them down to around $75. It was one of the best prices I could find for leather boots for kids. Previously my eldest daughter had a pair of non-leather boots from Nordstrom (which still cost about $50, mind you) that peeled and scuffed badly on the toes within the first weeks of wearing them. Her rugged, leather Frye boots have now been through two falls and almost two winters and the thick leather has held up beautifully. She’s been busy scuffing and wearing them down with all her hard work playing, but the heels have been resurfaced, and I’ve polished the leather many times. Leather on many shoes is very renewable. You can polish and hydrate it to a near-original state.
Additionally, if you’re looking at your kids’ items with a cost-per-wear mindset it makes a lot of sense to spend a little more and buy higher-quality items. I do not buy them clothes or shoes that are for only one occasion. That means no dress that’s only worn on Christmas, or shoes that are so cute but not practical enough to wear to school. Nearly everything in their closets works for all their walks of life, school, play, church and so on.
3) Seasonal shopping.
After spending nearly two years with a capsule wardrobe, the mentality of seasonal shopping spilled over to my kids’ clothes, and it has served me well. Going into fall and spring I take a look at their wardrobes as a whole (literally, I go check all the drawers and often pull everything out) and see how many pants they have, how many they might need, how many long shirts they have, etc. so I can shop strategically for what they need. This saves me from impulse (because it’s “so cute”) purchases and over-buying on items like tops. I keep a list on my phone and access it when I’m ready to make purchases.
4) Thrifting + hand-me-downs.
I have always thrifted for my kids and, with experience, I have gotten better. My strategy is to identify shops I like and target them frequently when a need arises. With second-hand, I am usually able to buy nicer items than I would first-hand anyway. Last season I got a down REI jacket and black knit Nikes for my son. Recently I purchased a wool Hanna cardigan for my daughter off Poshmark (which is so warm and cute, the cost per-wear must be a nickel by now!). Sometimes you just need to know where to look.
We love hand-me-downs in this family. We have benefited from them many times over, I’ve swapped with friends and family and it’s been a huge blessing. For the first two years of my son’s life I bought him only a handful of clothing items! I try my best to make sure this happens between my daughters as well, but it’s not always easy (more on that below).
5) Brands that value ethics.
In response to the increased knowledge about the use of sweatshops to produce inexpensive kids’ clothing, companies like Wildly.Co have popped up on the marketplace, and they give parents a welcome ethical alternative to kids’ fast-fashion. They have great universal designs that intermix beautifully and are intended for a variety of uses. Last Christmas we bought our girls Wildly.Co skirts and they are still wearing them! I’ll be keeping an eye on their spring offerings when I’m ready to add to my son’s wardrobe.
A few other brands that come to mind are: Tea Collection, Pact Apparel and Everlane Kids.
6) High-quality brands.
High-quality brands are the next best option after ethical brands in my opinion. The items last longer and will go through more kids before ever making it to the landfill. High-quality brands often work against the fast-fashion model and you often get more for your money.
7) Launder well.
I am pretty good about getting most stains out of my kids’ clothing. If they’re at home I always cold-rinse messes and treat with a stain stick. (It works really well and you don’t have to worry about washing it right away.) And then of course I avoid drying the item until I’m sure the stain is out. I also keep a handful of items out of the dryer to help them last longer, my girls love tights and I air dry those, along with their jeans, which always seem to get too short!
Challenges.
One of the biggest challenges I face in making ethical clothing choices for my kids (besides cost) is that one of my kids is really hard on clothes. I’m talking biting holes, pushing pencils through, endless paint and clothing stains, etc. She ends up with fewer items from stores like Hanna and Tea Collection and more items found second-hand. This helps reduce the stress I might have towards her and her clothes. Unfortunately, her habits make it much harder to pass down her items her younger sister. We do when we can, but the rest is out of our hands.
I’d love to hear from some other mamas out there. Do you consider ethics when shopping for your kids? What have you learned along the way?
xo,
Andrea
Wow our kids are seriously the exact same ages! 7, 5, and almost 3 :) Though we have girl, boy, girl. It’s nuts right? But it has been fun having them close together like this! Love these ideas for kids clothes shopping. It’s hard to stay away from target for us too, just so cheap and sometimes it’s purely lack of time to be able to look for better options. But we have had really good luck at our favorite thrift store especially with shoes.
Ha! I am glad you understand Tawny, it IS nuts. But I am starting to see the light in the tunnel, my littlest (who will be 3 at the end of March) is starting to become a *tad* bit more self-sufficient. Thank goodness. I know what you mean about the time crunch, I don’t exactly have time to shop around for them. I think it helps that I only shop for them a few times a year, mostly pre-fall and pre-spring.
I’ve implored all of these over the last four years of being mama! :) I shop nearly exclusively secondhand for them (and for myself) I’ve really enjoyed saving money this way and freeing up funds for them to do things like Tumblebee’s :) I can’t even remember the last time I bought something for them because I thought it was “cute”. (Proud to be able to say that!) I’ve been “crafting wardrobes” for them one season at time ever since I set foot into a Once Upon a Child one day and pulled together an *entire* seasons worth of clothing for my oldest for the same price I could have buying maybe 5 outfits at Target?? Also! Less clothing is so much better for kids! I remember when my oldest was first born we got SO many clothes as gifts and I kept them all, it really just ended up being super overwhelming! Less clothes does mean doing laundry more often, but it also means no marathon laundry — I HATE marathon laundry.
Glad you shared this! I’ve been asked this question dozens of times as well and have still yet to finish compiling a blog post. Thanks for this push ;)
Hi friend! I can’t wait to read your tips on this!
My general theory is that it is MUCH easier to re-use boy clothes than girl clothes, therefore the market it better. So much of girls’ clothing is stretchy, jersey which gets holes and does not retain shape. Boys wear a lot more woven fabrics and durable pants (no leggings for them, ha!). You are so right about marathon laundry! I feel like i still have them. Probably time to purge more!
Great post, Andrea! My sons are teenagers and like to shop for their own clothing but I’ve been encouraging them to buy fewer, better items and they are beginning to understand the benefits of doing that. Companies like Everlane are making it easier but it’s still challenging because they are susceptible to marketing (who isn’t?) and love to shop from mall shops. They’ve been shopping secondhand for years, but peer pressure is tough.
If anyone has any suggestions for ethical men’s brands, please share. XO
Hi Alex, I can’t imagine how freeing that must be to have them in charge of their own clothing. Someday that’ll be me too, woohoo. I can think of a few ethical men’s clothing shops off the top of my head, but they can be pricey! (I like Bridge & Burn and Marine Layer.)
I love this! We have 3 also! 5 boy, 3 girl, 1 girl. I have also been capsizing their wardrobes for a year or so. Also love buying Hanna for my older girl in hopes the younger can wear it soon. I’ve had the hardest time with shoes! I really should start 2nd hand but our stores are picked over and it difficult getting out to shop regularly, which is key. Hanna outlet has saved us before tho! Great post!
Sounds like you are just as busy as us, if not busier! I agree, second-hand shoes can be hit or miss. I find that it’s easier when they’re little, but as they get older the shoes seem to be worn in more. I’ve had good luck on ebay in the past, especially if shopping brand names like Keen or so.
I really appreciate this post! I have been grappling with this very issue; kids clothes can be so expensive, we live in a costly city, and so much of the quality of kids clothing (especially girls clothing!) does not justify the price. Kind of similar to toys, when you think about it. I recently starting buying more consignment for them, looking for the labels I know will last. I try to shop at a local consignment shop, but have found a good selection online at ThredUp. Wondering if you or others have any thoughts about them?
I have not thought to shop ThredUp for kids’ clothing, but that seems like it would be a great source!
I appreciate this conversation – thanks Andrea. We have been lucky to have a great source of hand-me-downs for my 7 year old son. He is really hard on his pants, and I try to search for jeans for him at my favorite Portland area consignment shops – Sweet Pea’s, Hazel and Pear, and that one in Montavilla (forget the name, on Stark around 80th). For my 3.5 year old daughter I don’t have a hand-me-down source, sadly (if anyone reading this lives in Portland and wants to unload girl 5T and up, pick me, pick me!). For her I generally get consigned items from consignment credit and fill this in with gifts from family (everyone looooves buying girl stuff). My shoe rule is that I try to stick to two pairs of shoes per season: rain boots + shoes in winter, shoes + sandals for summer. I usually buy shoes new because they wear out so quickly with them only having one pair, and I try to buy nicer shoes that last longer. However, my son only wants to wear athletic sneakers, and they rip within a week – so annoying. I try really hard to not be invested in my kids’ clothes or care about what they’re wearing, because they should just be having fun. My only rule is “respectable” clothes for school pictures and church ;)
Hi Lindsey! Thanks for the great tips on the consignment shops, I’ll have to check those out! I love your shoe philosophy, mine is very similar! Very limited, but high quality. As per the sneakers, my son has a pair of black leather nike velcro sneakers that he got as a gift a few years back, and now that he fits them, he wears them non-stop! They are great in the rain, warmer than other sneakers, and definitely can’t rip.
I love these tips and use many of them as well. We’ve gotten really lucky with lots of hand me downs from cousins but that gravy train is running slow these days. I just have one son right now but I think it helps to have simple outfit formulas too. Pants (joggers or jeans), tshirt, zip up hoodie or flannel. Leather boots, sneakers, weather-proof boots. I’ve gotten lucky that every time we’ve had something “fancy” I can find a cotton button up at the thrift store for cheap. I also bought a leather bow tie when he was a baby and we’ve gotten a lot of use out of it for dressing up an outfit (people notice the bow tie over the fact that he’s wearing jeans, IMO). I’m wondering if girl’s outfits can have a simple formula or if it’s more complex with all of the options and accessories. It also helps that my son has zero opinions about what he wears.
That makes a ton of sense! I think I’ve kind of arrived there with my girls, and it makes the whole mix and match thing so much easier. My middle daughter wears leggings a lot, and when I picked her colors in the fall, I made sure they could go with almost everything in her closet.
I’m with Alex. I have teenagers. When they were little, I refused to shop at places like Walmart and Target. I almost exclusively shopped second hand except undies and shoes. (I also have a kid who is super hard on clothes.) But now, they are buying their own and a friend introduced my daughter to Walmart. “Mom! I can get TONS of clothes there for the same price as ONE pair of pants any place else. That’s good, right?” Well, I tried to explain quality and ethics to her, but finally just let her shop to her heart’s content at Walmart. She bought all of her school close for the year for about $100. Seems great. Well, after just one or two washings, she realized what I meant by quality. Ethics, I’m still working on. . .
That is great perspective, I hadn’t even considered ethical clothing and teenagers. Short of having loads of cash, it seems like no easy feat. Thankfully Portland has a pretty amazing second-hand market place! Have you taken her to the Crossroads on Hawthorne?
Yes, yes, yes! I try very hard to be ethical for my kids clothes, but it is very hard. My kids are 10 & 15 (girl & boy), and there is very little out there for them in an ethical capacity (sometimes I struggle to find anything teen sized period!) I’ve bookmarked the sites (I LOVE Wildly and their capsule concept, that’s genius). Tea Collection has been a favorite in the past but my daughter has moved into stage where she hates wearing dresses (and her current school does not allow the middle school girls to wear leggings). Some online stores I’ve found (specific to the UK): Kite -Clothing.co.uk & we.lovefrugi.com & hatley.com
I’ve had trouble now because my 10 year old has outgrown both sites (or they only offer dresses/leggings she doesn’t/can’t wear). I try to find the least un-ethical option since there aren’t a lot of places for ethical kids clothes in the UK.
Hi Andrea! How is the second-hand market there? Depending on the age sometimes there can be a lot of clothing options because kids outgrow them before they can wear them out. In the US we have a few second hand shop chains that even target the teen age group.
I have a teenager as well who buys his own clothes. He is well aware of quality now after his Old Navy split out in the seat at a youth event! Haha! (He was good natured about it and even took a pic to send his sisters.) But I have yet to convince him about ethical side of things. He buys well made clothing from the ranch store here in town and has a pretty minimal wardrobe. While it isn’t ethically made, it’s high quality. I have also convinced him that natural materials are important and last longer. I bought him some American made wool socks for Christmas and now he wants wool base layers to wear! Baby steps! My husband still shops at fast fashion stores, but after watching the True Cost with me I think he feels guilty about it. He just hates shelling out a lot of money for clothes. I’m going to at least try to convert him to Everlane as his stuff wears out. :-)
Rebecca you are doing a great job educating your family! Those are some pretty awesome steps, and it sounds like some things are clicking for them. I agree, I think high quality is important because things will last so much longer and reduce clothing waste.
I think this is a very interesting and important discussion. When my son was younger I bought him more than he needed because I kept seeing cute things that I thought he’d like, but I’ve gotten away from that, mostly. I try and buy basic items that he can wear for a while, which means, among other things, staying away from graphic tees and licensed character clothing. I have also had to realize that his fall/winter wardrobe is just going to be smaller than spring/summer, because the “buy them a bit large, wear them until they’re a bit small” doesn’t work as well for long-sleeved shirts and full-length pants as it does for short-sleeved shirts and shorts.
At 13, he has grown out of the sizes for all of the explicitly ethical children’s clothing sites I’ve found, but I am thinking of trying a t-shirt or two from some of the adult sites this spring. I guess I’m another person who could use a list of men’s sites:)
One of the most annoying things I’ve encountered is the required “group identification” clothing, everything from T-shirts for a week at summer camp (different each year, with the year explicitly part of the design) to the new uniform each season for sports teams. It seems that no thought at all is given to reusability of the clothing.
I hadn’t thought of that Anne, but it’s a great point. My oldest already is amassing t-shirts from various school jog-a-thons and activities, and those things never seem to be worn very much. Wasteful indeed. But the kids eagerly anticipate them. I think as a society we’re so used to material item-based rewards. Somehow we need to get away from that! (And one men’s store I like a lot is Bridge & Burn.)
I love this post! My son is nine months old and since the new year I’ve been trying to purchase either second hand, ethically made or high quality items for him. We’re lucky in Canada as there is a TON of companies that sell responsibly and locally made kids clothes but they tend to be more pricy so I wait for sales. I’ve had a lot of luck at Once Upon a Child, especially for jackets. I do find that having a specific color palette and a list of items is helpful when shopping second hand otherwise it can be overwhelming and I can be too easily swayed by the ‘cute factor’! I also agree that babies need way less clothing than everyone tells you they do!
I love Once Upon a Child! They always have such a large, organized selection. Yes, that makes a ton of sense about a color palette. I think I had figured that out when my daughters were younger I would have spent far less money on their clothing over the years!
I struggle not to overbuy for my two kids, especially my girl (so many possibilities!). Part of my problem is in buying used a size or two up from what they are currently wear. I think this is a good plan if you’re committed to buying used whenever possible, but then I forget what I’ve got set aside and buy the next cute used item I see. (I live near some great Savers thrift stores.) To help me with this problem, I have lists on my phone of exactly what is in their current wardrobe (#’s of jeans, t-shirts, jammies, etc) and what I have saved away. So when I want to buy something I check our current inventory. I have done really well with keeping my son’s wardrobe almost entirely used. It’s harder for my daughter, at least if I want a cohesive wardrobe. They are just so many types of items and so many ways things can not go together. At the time I was most committed to used clothes for her, I started to get really tired of the mismatched outfits she came up with. So I have been allowing a few more new purchases. These have mostly been from Hanna Andersson because, like Andrea, I like their commitment to quality and I like that many of their items are organic cotton. For shoes, I have good luck at savers sometimes. When I haven’t, I like Keen’s for their quality, and I just purchased our first pair of Hanna Andersson shoes (Mary Janes that are dressy enough for any likely occasion but still play appropriate). My kids always have sandals and regular shoes, and sometimes have boots and dress shoes.
Heather, this is GENIUS!! SO smart. I have fallen into that same trap of forgetting what I have stashed away from the future, what a great idea!!! I also think it’s harder to get a cohesive girls’ wardrobe second hand, and I think that’s because there are so many outfit “sets” out there, like leggings and a top that only match each other (super annoying), AND a lot of the materials used in girls’ clothing just don’t hold up (compared to boys’ more rugged fabrics).
Just stumbled across your blog and I love this article. I have two boys (3 and 18mo) and have been lucky to,get some great great hand-me-downs from my nephew, mainly from Mini Boden and Country Road (Australian brand). I have a few strategies for buying less/better quality/more ethical.
Firstly, I f I do buy new I stick to high quality Europeans brands – Mini Rodini, Bobo Choses and Tiny Cottons are my favourites – but usually I manage to pick used items up (normally barely worn) from some Facebook buy/sell/trade groups I belong to (there are some Hanna ones too so have a go at searching for them).
We have pretty temperate weather (no need for heavy duty shoes in winter) so my kids get 3 pairs a year- Converse, Native (Jefferson) and Saltwater Sandals. So far they’ve either been handed down or bought new but once again each brand has a bst group on Facebook. The thing I like about these brands is that I can throw them in the washing machine and they come out looking new – even after 3 kids!
I learnt my lesson with buying things my kids will ‘grow into’ – I don’t do it. I would always forget and overbuy. At the beginning of each season I get out everything that will still fit and tasks as picture of it all laid out together and keep it on my phone. I also tend to stick to colour schemes. We’re in summer now and for my older son I has enough stuck to chambray and ‘washed out’ colours in shorts and grey marble or charcoal for tees- everything mixes and matches. For my younger son I stick to pale blue, indigo, cream and green/teal colours and that seems work too. Shoes are usually tan leather sandals and white, grey or navy for the cons and natives (though sometimes I get a fun bright colour converse for some contrast).
Your strategies are amazing! I really like those color schemes too. So how do you find those FB groups? I never seem to know how to search for them. Also, you named off three of my fav shoe brands! Those Natives are fantastic.
Thanks for this article. I found it easier to find ethically made clothes for my kids when they were younger (size 5T and under). They are now ages 8 and 10. Do you have any sources for ethically made clothes for size 6-12?