In my journey toward a diet of ethical-only clothing purchases, I have run into very few hiccups along the way. Most of the things I’ve been hunting for have been found via independent designers, excellent modern shops who practice responsible manufacturing, and of course, the trusty second-hand option.
However, there’s been one glaring blip on my radar – bras. I just cannot seem to find ethically made bras that will work for me. A large reason is because it’s difficult to shop for bras online. But just as large, or – ahem, small – a factor is my new, post-nursing shape.
David, our youngest, at the hospital where he was born, in March 2014.
A little history
I have birthed and nursed three beautiful babies between 2009 and 2015. After each child weaned, I ended up purchasing new bras because my pre-baby ones were too big. That’s a reduction x3! Not to mince words here, I’ve gone down a few cup sizes. It’s disappointing to say the least, and it’s taking some ‘adjusting’ to get used to.
My initial approach has been to duck and hide, aka, purchasing the most padded bras I could find from Victoria’s Secret. I have done that for the better part of a year, and while it works well under sweaters and bulkier tops, under other tops, it’s been a little obvious that it was all bra and no me. But even worse, I think that created a pattern of me hiding from my new reality. The thick padding helped me keep pretending, so much so, I didn’t feel like ‘me’ after I took it off at night.
Eventually my bras started wearing out, from their constant use, and on a whim I tried something new, a lightly-padded bralette. I didn’t wear it much at first because I felt so different without my security padding, but then I slowly started integrating it into my wardrobe. I started to get use to it, and eventually I’ve begun to prefer the more natural look of my smaller shape to the other. And the improvement on comfort factor goes without saying.
The search
Where does one find ethically made, minimally padded bras? I still don’t have the answer to that. The bralettes I mentioned are cheap, of fast-fashion caliber, but they’re what I have right now and they work.
As I’ve looked to augment my collection I’ve come across a few brands I’ve tried/am trying out. It’s pretty easy to find responsibly made bralettes, but most are still completely without padding, something I’m still working on getting used to. I’m in the process of researching brands and, so far, I’ve tried Brook There, and have my eye on Pansy next.
The Organic Cotton Triangle Bra by Brook There, gift for review
This organic cotton bra by Brook There is very soft and beautifully made. The ‘cups’ are double lined and nice and stretchy. I do feel the bras run a bit on the small side. I first ordered an A/B (the size I would be in a regular, demi cup bra) but when it arrived, it was too short. I now have a 34 B/C, which fits nicely, but I do feel like the shape of the bra minimizes my chest size a bit. That might be a good thing for some people, but for me, it makes me look a little bit like I am wearing a sports bra.
The strap adjusters are on the front of the bra, which is about the smartest thing I’ve ever seen. I don’t understand why they’re on the back of so many other bras. Engaging in acrobatics to adjust my bra strap is not something I look forward to doing in my spare time. Strap adjustments in the front = a perfect fit every time. I do feel a little more ‘sexy’ in this bra. Perhaps it’s the lack of padding or the minimal design. If I were to try another one from Brook There, I’d go with the Aquamarine Alchemy Bra, which looks so soft and smooth.
Looking forward
In short, I am learning to slowly accept my post-nursing shape. It’s not one I would have chosen, but it’s what I have. Someday I make take steps to restore what I once had, but for now, life is too busy for that.
I am practicing less hiding and more accepting. It isn’t easy, but it feels good.
Thanks for always keeping us up on ethical brands! I will have to check these out. I see Brooke There sells 36 C/D so I’m in luck. I certainly don’t need any extra padding and I hate underwires so these may be a perfect fit. Since we are talking openly, I’ll share my story…… I nursed my 4 children and ended up with the same issues you describe. In 2002, after my last one was weaned, my original C cup was barely an A an the remaining skin was not attractive at all, so I took steps to have it restored. What I ended up with was much larger than my original size, unfortunately. As I have mentioned before, it makes buying anything that buttons in front pretty much impossible! if I were ever to have a do-over I would just tighten the skin and embraced the smaller size. Just my two cents as someone who has gone through exactly what you have! :-)
Oh Rebecca, thank you for sharing so candidly! If I make some changes, I am so afraid of being too big! Maybe some day you will have a revision. :) It’s just so hard to tell how it’s going to end up when all is said and done. I used to have the same problem with button ups before, and I almost never bought them. Now I don’t have that problem, but I miss the feminine feeling of a soft and curvy chest. Thanks for your two cents!
I just ordered a bra from Naja, reasonably affordable and well structured. Plus their designs are fun. I’ve been overhauling my regular wardrobe for ethical/sustainable items, but the undergarments has been a slower process as it is just so hard to find the right fit (especially when you are ordering online).
I have been looking at theirs, they look very cute. Please report back how you like it! :)
Thank you so much for writing on this topic! I think a lot of us can relate to it. Myself personally, I haven’t had kids yet and I haven’t seen the effects of childbearing on my body. However, I can completely relate to being a small size and wearing push up bras. Growing up I was a lot smaller than other girls while being a lot taller and bigger in other ways. I felt insecure and relied on extreme push up bras from VS as well. I also didn’t feel like myself with a regular bra anymore and wearing a swimming suit felt plain weird, because back then not many had padding. It was, and still is, a tough journey to acceptance and loving myself as I am. I am small and that’s okay. But finding the right bra is hard! I find the regular store sizes are just too weird on me. Either a cup is too big or a band is too tight, or the proportions are all kinds of wrong. Indie designers and self made bras have been my savior. I never thought I would feel sexy and feminine in a soft cup bra, yet it is coming around.
Anya, I think we have similar body types! I am tall, with broad shoulders, so that is a big reason why my small chest has bothered me, it seems out of proportion to the rest of me. I can relate to everything you just said! Too large of cups and too tight of bands, I feel like I have the forgotten body type or something! Do you have any favorite indie bra designers?
Thank you for sharing a bit of your journey, and I am so happy to hear of your progress! It is encouraging!
I was going to suggest naja, land of women or lonely lingerie. I have the opposite problem. My chest is usually too large to fit into the bralettes and unlined bras most small designers have. So annoying! I tried a bralette from naja that I like though the biggest size is large and it’s a tad to small. My standard has been unlined vs lace bras which are great and I think I’ll replace them eventually with the same version of naja! Xoxo
Those are great suggestions, that you Tess! I’d never heard of Land of Women, and I really like what they have! It even looks like a store in Portland stocks their bras. Best of luck on your bra journey!
I hear ya, sister! I have the exact same issue and stopped buying bras from VS long, long ago. Brook There works really well for me. I love my Pansy bras as well, but wish their straps were adjustable as I too have broad shoulders. I had no luck with Naja or Base Range because small cup sizes usually mean small fit overall. To be honest I’ve decided to go without a lot of the time in cooler temps. I’ve been wearing form fitting cotton tanks with a little bit of spandex underneath my sweaters and blouses instead. I started doing this after reading several articles that indicate that wearing bras may be a leading cause of back ache for some women and to my surprise it has helped considerably with my back. It took some getting used because I felt so self conscious all the time, but I’ve learned to accept my new shape.
Hi Alex! Which Brook There bras do you have? I also didn’t realize the Pansy straps weren’t adjustable! Hmm, not sure how I’d like that. I agree about the smaller size = smaller cups problem, and I think that’s why I don’t like cups. Smart observation! Where are the bras for girls like us?? I like your spandex tanks option.
It is encouraging to me to hear you talk about accepting your new shape! I’m hoping I can continue down that path.
I have the triangle, alchemy, and pixy bras from Brook There. I like them all, but my favorite is the Pixy bra simply because it is the most comfortable. Full disclosure, however – my husband thinks that it looks like a sports bra and doesn’t give it high marks for being sexy. I’m hoping they create a similar bra with a little lace or silk to bump up the attractiveness factor. I’m also looking into silk camisoles for the winter. A friend brought one back from Europe that has a bit of support around the bust and I’m thinking it might be worth trying out.
That sounds lovely! Please keep me posted on the camisoles!
Woo hoo thank you for posting! I was flat before my sweet daughter, and now…sheesh, it’s basically gone! My bras actually DIP IN concave! I’m glad to hear others have this prob as well. I’ve got to try some new options soon – thanks for the direction!
Oh Lyn, you are not alone, I hear ya! There is wayyy to much concave going on in that part of my body. :( I hope you find a bra that makes you feel beautiful and sexy!
You are not alone! This is my exact problem, to a T. And those overly padded bras from Victoria’s Secret are making me feel like I’m in junior high again. It’s my sad and current reality! I’m very interested in hearing what else you find out there!
Oh Kim, it’s rough!! I feel ya!! For me I am learning to accept my new reality, and wearing bras that fit my body rather than hide it are starting to help me feel a little more ‘sexy’ rather than hiding my chest. I don’t love it, but I am starting to get used to it (David weaned a little over a year ago). I think someday I’d love to have surgery, but I’d be terrified of going too big!
Thank you for your honesty Andrea. As if accepting my new shape wasn’t already a challenge, finding a bra that fits perfectly is an even bigger challenge. After 3 years I still haven’t found ‘the one’. Will definitely check your suggestion out!
– X Marloes
I’m to be the one outsider commenting on this post (several days late) because I have the opposite problem. I was a generous D pre-pregnancy. I always felt I was too big as it make fitting many types of clothes difficult and because, as a teenager, I remember seeing a lot of boys point and ogle. I was much larger during pregnancy and nursing, and then settled down to a DD. There is much less ogling these days, but I still wish I were much smaller (even just as small as I used to be). And perky would be nice. I still have difficulty with fit. Some types of clothes just don’t seem to be an option; others are only if I want to flash a lot of cleavage, which I don’t. So occasionally I’m jealous of all my friends who complain about shrinking post-nursing. Which is ridiculous, as I know they may be as self-conscious and unhappy about their shape and I am about mine. And of course, there are other women I know who wear size H bras. In comparison my DD seems pretty small. I think all of us just need to accept what we’ve got and learn how to feel good about it. (Although an H has got to cause some serious back pain! I’d probably be looking into reduction there.)
As for ethical bras, I haven’t seen any ethical brand yet make DDs, let alone the minimizers I would want. So I’m stuck with regular retail for the time being. (And here I am jealous again because I would love to try some of the pretty options I saw when I perused Brook There’s offerings. :-) ) Anyway, good luck in finding options you like and in learning to feel good about your own shape.
Hi Heather! Thanks for sharing your perspective. It’s so interesting to hear. I agree, we all need to accept what we have and learn how to feel good about it – well said! Good luck on your bra quest!
How short is short? I wanted to try Brook There when they had a sale at some point. My issue is that one side of my chest is a good cup size larger than the other. [Or it at least seems that way..] I would normally go with the 32 A/B and that’s what they recommended when I contacted them via Facebook.
Short in that the first size might have made my breasts peek out at the bottom. Hope that helps!